color war casualty

In a game touted as the biggest fad since “robo tripping” in the early 90’s, the broom game, made popular by Ellen DeGeneres and now adopted by Ze Frank and his so-called “Color Wars”, are causing dizziness, bruises, contusions, and vomiting all over the world.

Yesterday, in Lincoln, Nebraska a group of Twitterers (members of the now popular social networking site Twitter.com) varying in age from 14 to 42 were attempting to make a video for Frank’s Color Wars when 3 of the broom game contestants took out a number of bystanders, the camera operator/commentator, and Grammie. 12 were injured in the onslaught. None of those involved wished to be identified.

One twitterer, who only wished to be referred to as @anonymous stated, “It was one thing to have to put up with all the colored icons, and GO TEAM BURNT SIENNA’s - but this is just senseless. When will the madness stop!”

Families of the victims are holding a candle light vigil tonight donning all black and white in protest of the Color Wars.

Jenifer Bolton, daughter of one of the victims mournfully avowed, “Mr. Frank, you’ve driven our children from our homes brooms in hand. They spin until they’re dizzy with delight, until they fall down, or until someone gets hurt. We won’t stand for this! The broom game, these wars MUST STOP! Or at least, umm, you know make it 5 spins or something.”

A child watching the interview with Ms. Bolton shouted “Why did Grammie have to die!” Grammie, in fact, did not die - but she did apparently suffer a broken hip.

What will come of these wars? No good I’m sure. We’ll just have to stay tuned and see how many others must fall before Frank’s brightly blazoned battle is brought to a screeching halt. Crayola denies involvement. Frank was not available for comment.

Full Text Here.
Stop The Color War Group on Facebook can be found here.